Come To Daddy
by ShadowMajin
Summary: Sharpner finds a new target for his affections. The Son Family will never be the same.
1. Chapter 1

Well, well, well, it certainly has been quite some time since I posted a story here. It's been a bit weird too since I'm use to posting something that resembles writing. At least now ya'll know I'm still alive and kicking.

And now, once again I bring to you a work thought up by the combined minds of Ms. Videl Son, dbz-lover91, and myself. This is a story that's been sitting on the backburner for quite sometime but finally has made its debut. Though this will be a short story compared to my usual works, we had this planned out just the way we liked it.

Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the latest insanity to grace the pages of ffn.

* * *

It was the most dangerous substance to grace the halls of Orange Star High. Its victims numbered in the millions, if not billions. No one knew if they would be next on this silent killer's death list.

And it was for this reason that Sharpner signed the petition before him. Pen, the nerd that sat in front of him, had been running around the class, persuading people to stand up against the ever deadly dihydrogen monoxide. One could never sleep without danger looming on the horizon.

Don't get him wrong, Sharpner didn't always pay attention to nerds; it was just that Pen had made such a compelling argument against this dihydrogen monoxide. He also felt that he needed to help this sap just this once, especially since he could be next in line to die. "Erasa," he addressed the blonde girl two seats down, "I need you to sign this."

Erasa looked at the petition that was pushed to her. "What is it?"

"It's a petition to rid our school of dihydrogen monoxide. It's a very deadly compound that's just waiting to kill us adults," the jock explained, though he was just repeating what Pen had told him. Hey, just cause the blond wasn't smart didn't mean he couldn't say big words; they just tended to hurt his head when he did.

Just a small price to pay to save his friends.

However, there was a small roadblock in his noble cause: the ultimate nerd aka Son Gohan. "Umm, Erasa, I don't think you'd want to sign that thing."

The blonde girl looked at the boy with innocent eyes. Evidently, she was confused by the Son boy's interference. "But why, Gohan? There something killing students here; I have to do what I can to stop that."

Gohan shook his head. "Dihydrogen monoxide isn't dangerous. It's just two atoms of hydrogen fused with one atom of oxygen. Nothing dangerous there."

Erasa just blinked her eyes in confusion.

"Uhh, you've never heard of H20?"

This time, the boy was met with a blank stare.

"Just sign the thing," Sharpner said. "You don't want to risk your safety, right?"

It was at that moment a person by the name of Videl Satan entered the conversation, her school bag hanging on her shoulder. "What's this about risking safety?"

At this, Sharpner lit up. If there was one person that would side with him to stop this dangerous killer, it was the Satan City Police Force's only useful weapon. "The entire school's in danger Videl," he said. "Dihydrogen monoxide is running rampant in our halls and we have to do everything we can to stop it!"

The Satan girl just blinked her eyes before closing them, taking a deep breath. Setting her school bag onto the floor, she grabbed the list from Erasa and tossed it away; the piece of paper flopping around in the air before it landed on the stairway. "Don't bother with that stupid paper, Erasa," she said.

"But Videl!" Erasa protested. "What if Sharpner's right?!"

"Erasa, Dimwit over there is talking about water."

"That's what I was trying to tell her," Gohan chimed in.

The Satan girl looked at the boy. Before she could say anything though, the teacher walked in, demanding attention from the reluctant students. "Quiet down, quiet down everyone!" the teacher demanded. "We have very little material to cover and a lot of time to do it in." The teacher paused. "Uhh, I meant a lot of material and too little time," he corrected.

Moving towards the front of the room, the teacher pulled down the overhead screen. A couple attempts were made to keep the screen down since it didn't want to be used at the moment, but eventually obeyed. Next, the teacher moved to the door, pulling a small projector on top of a cart from the hall into the room. Setting it up at the perfect place, he picked up a VCR tape that had been sitting on the projector cart and put it into a conveniently located VCR.

Up on the screen, a fiery background appeared with the bolded letters **SEX IS EVIL.** This caused a groan from the whole class.

That very screen meant the class was gonna have to see yet another Sex Ed video. They had been forced to watch these since they were in junior high and with each video, it got more and more desperate to stop teens from engaging in sex.

And just as they had predicted, the video plunged into the evils that was sex; the usual information of how abstinence was the only way to keep girls from becoming pregnant, STDs from being transferred, and how contraceptives were about as useful as broken umbrella in a thunderstorm. Yep, it was the usual drivel all over again.

However, things livened up towards the middle of the film. Just as the class was about to be told the glorious nature of abstinence, the film faded away to reveal a very unusual sight. Tied on a bed was their beloved teacher, his white hair and mustache giving him away. He was wearing a white gown and angel wings, a flimsy looking halo hovering over his head. The angel get-up, however, wasn't the weirdest thing about the scene.

The teacher was tied to a bed that he was laying on. This seemed to confuse the students. Why would their teacher be tied to a bed?

That was when a short woman came onto the screen. Standing on thigh-length boots, she wore only a leather bra, thong with a devil's tail attached to it, and devil horns on her head. Her hair was tied into pig-tails, trying to give her an innocent look though she was anything but. A whip was in her hands as she stared down at the angel costumed teacher.

"Oh sweet Kami!" the teacher shouted as he raced to the projector. He had to turn the damn tape off before anyone in the class figured out what was going on. He had never meant to show his late night escapade with a dominatrix. His teaching career would be over if it came out!

Unfortunately, every single student knew what they were seeing, except for Gohan. While the teenagers were either grinning in anticipation, staring in shock, or covering their mouths to keep from laughing, Gohan just stared blankly. He didn't know what was going on but the moment he saw the dominatrix, something odd began to occur. Slowly, a trickle of blood began to drip from his nose.

* * *

Videl shook her head, embarrassed; not for her but for the teacher. Even as he scrambled to turn the projector off, there was no way he would keep his job.

Looking to Sharpner, she saw his amusement as he kept his eyes locked on the dominatrix. She just knew the jock would want to find out who that girl was. Boys could be so predictable.

Turning to Erasa, she saw her friend trying to stifle her giggles. As the sounds of whip meeting skin could be heard, the blonde had more and more difficulty keeping her laughter to herself.

That was when Videl finally noticed Gohan. He seemed a bit pale as he looked at the screen. A bit odd she thought, until she noticed the stream of blood leaking out of his nose. Acting immediately, she rushed to Gohan's side, trying to stop the bleeding with her hand. When the blood continued to run, the Satan girl had no choice but to use her shirt, putting it right into the gusher. "Can someone stop staring at the damn porno and go get me someone to stop this blood!" Videl shouted, catching the attention of some of the students.

Fortunately, the teacher finally figured out a way to stop the projector. Pulling the power cord out of the electric socket, the projector turned off, removing the image of the video. With a sigh, the man slumped to the floor, relieved that his torture was over.

* * *

It was to the sound of voices that Gohan awoke. How long they had been going, he knew not, but they were cutting into his beauty sleep. And as everyone knew, a sleep deprived demi-saiyan was a cranky demi-saiyan.

At the moment, the Son boy found himself lying on a bed; not a comfy bed, but one that would do. The white walls with posters of cartoon characters advocating good health told him he was in the nurse's office of the school. Now how did he get here?

Turning his head to a side, Gohan found a white drape that was meant to give privacy to the occupant of the other bed in the room. Currently, that drape was serving as a barrier between him and what appeared to be the silhouette of a small girl. Upon hearing her voice, the saiyan knew it to be Videl. She was saying something about blood on her shirt or something.

And then the unimaginable happened. Right before the Son boy, Videl's silhouette began pulling off its shirt. It didn't take much for the boy to realize that the Satan girl was now shirtless with the possibility of a bra being the only thing covering her chest.

Oh dear, sweet Kami.

It was because of the overuse of his imagination that the Son boy failed to notice another male in the room, that being Sharpner. What he was doing here was beyond him but apparently, he too had been watching the silhouette of Videl, but unlike Gohan, had plans to get a better picture.

When Videl had managed to temporarily stop Gohan's earlier nosebleed, she had quite a time trying to move the Son boy's body to the nurse. Thus she recruited their blond colleague and together, they both strained and grunted their way to the nurse's office, carrying a very heavy demi-saiyan.

With the stealth of a cat, Sharpner made his move, peering behind the drawn drape as he pulled it open.

Unfortunately for the peeping tom, and fortunately for Videl, the Satan girl had been looking right in Sharpner's direction, seeing his head pop into her line of sight. The daughter of Satan had no delusions that her…"friend" had wanted a quick look at her. That would prove to be his last mistake…_ever_…

With a war cry, Videl's Fist of Doom rammed right into Sharpner's pretty face, sending him flying into the far wall. Due to his holding of the drape, half of it had been torn off of the rings holding it to the ceiling, revealing the Satan girl in all of her half naked glory. Her usual black spandex shorts covered her lower body while an ordinary white bra covered her assets. A look of pure rage covered her face as steam leaked from her ears.

"Why your low life scum! I should break you in two!" she screamed, unleashing her fury. However, instead of making good on her threat, she pulled what remained of the drape in front of her, covering her up once more. Not once did she take notice of the wide-eyed Gohan, who had another nosebleed just threatening to leak out.

It was a few seconds later that the Son boy noticed that Sharpner hadn't been knocked out as he usually was by Videl. Turning his head to the blond, he saw the jock pry himself from the wall and dust himself off. A couple mumblings of how he had gotten dirty left his mouth before he noticed the conscious Gohan. "Well, looks like Nerd boy is awake," he observed out loud.

Walking over to the boy, the jock sat at the edge of the bed, looking right at Gohan. "You know, I think it's time you and I had a talk," Sharpner said, causing the demi-saiyan to look at him oddly.

"You and I both know you're not the innocent guy you pretend to be," the blond said. "I've seen all the girls after you and I get it. You're trying the 'weak guy angle' with them and it works. I don't begrudge ya that. That's how virgins work."

This caused the Son boy to blush from embarrassment.

"But one day, you will come to realize, just like me, that the best girls are the violent ones."

Gohan blinked his eyes. He had no idea what Sharpner was talking about. Girls chasing him? The only one he knew of was Videl and she had stalked him around the first couple of days after he arrived at Orange Star. Now the jock was relating that to violence? What was he trying to get at?

"Let's take Videl. When you finally become a man, like me, you'll see that chicks that can knock your lights out are firecrackers in bed. There's something about a girl dominating a guy that's really turns a guy on."

It was here that Gohan's thoughts began to drift. If he wasn't mistaken, that domination thing was similar to that homemade "movie" of their teacher's. Though he didn't see the charm behind that sort of thing, the Son boy couldn't help but replace that dominatrix with Videl. It didn't hurt that the Satan girl had her hair in pigtails, not to mention her devil-like temper.

Oh crap, that nosebleed was coming back.

"Plus, it doesn't hurt that she's bloody rich," Sharpner continued. "And Hercule's her dad, so anyone that can snag her can get the One and Only to train them."

What ever less than innocent thoughts Gohan had had at the moment evaporated. Why was money so important? And Hercule? That wasn't much of an enticement in his opinion.

Suddenly, the drape separating the boys from the girl in question was moved, revealing Videl in a yellow and blue shirt; the word RICE in bolded red letters written on the front of it. With the placement of the letters, Gohan had to look away with a slight blush. His view of what was underneath that word was still in his head. "I'm sure my dad would appreciate your words, Sharpner," she said sarcastically. "Personally, I would beat any boy with a bag of hammers if that was their intention."

"Hey babe," the jock replied, acting as if he hadn't heard a word she said. Probably was the case as well. "Glad you could join us. Me and Nerd boy here were having a man-to-man talk."

Videl rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I heard. Now quit filling Gohan's head with such stupid advice. He's the only smart guy in the school and he'll need all of his brain cells to stay that way."

"Brain cells are overrated," Sharpner scoffed.

"Only for you." Turning her attention to the demi-saiyan, the Satan girl took on a softer tone. "How you doing, Gohan? You feeling better?"

Not able to find his voice box, all Gohan could do was nod his head.

"That's good. I have to admit, you had me worried for a moment."

Gohan looked at her face, completely avoiding her shirt. "Y-you were?"

Videl nodded her head. "Yeah. I don't think I've seen someone lose so much blood before and that's saying something."

Grinning, the Son boy began scratching the back of his head. "It's not the first time I've bled."

"Paper cuts don't count, Nerd boy."

The sound of cracking knuckles could be heard from the Satan girl. "Either keep your mouth shut, Sharpner, or enjoy a knuckle sandwich."

Before there was a reply, the school nurse entered the room. "I see my patient is up," she commented upon seeing the teens. "And it's about time for you able-bodies to go back to class."

Nodding, Videl made her way to the door with Sharpner following her. Once they had left, the nurse went to work. "Okay Mr. Son, lay down. From what I've been told, you've lost a lot of blood, so about an hour's rest should be sufficient."

"I'm not really that tired," Gohan replied.

"So you're ready to go back to class?"

Just before he answered, the Son boy had a vision of a classroom full of people teasing him. He had been the only person to pass out from the video from earlier so naturally he'd be a target of jokes, especially about his lack of sexual experience. "I think I should have some rest after all."

A small smile covered the nurse's face. "What ever you say, Mr. Son."

Making himself as comfy as he could, Gohan couldn't help but slip into unconsciousness.

* * *

RyRy tested; MaMa approved.


	2. Chapter 2

And here's the next chapter of Come To Daddy. Seems I've been missed on this site too. I really must think of a couple more stories for ya'll to enjoy. Maybe later; I've got this one to entertain ya'll with.

Also, I'd like to thank STD...interesting name. STD helped me out with the summary, for which I am grateful. Didn't realize I was giving a spoiler in it. Thanks for letting me know.

* * *

Gohan laid on his back, staring at the ceiling with a blank face. His hands were clasped behind his head, his arms bent at the elbow. He had been in the pose for the past half hour, his mind on a different planet.

And that planet was proving to be a very distracting one.

Images of Videl in the dominatrix outfit plagued his mind. Sometimes he'd just see her strutting around, snapping the whip in her hands, smirking. Other times he'd see her dominating him on the very bed he laid on. Needless to say, his body was liking his imagination right now.

Maybe…just maybe Sharpner was right about something.

Suddenly, the door to the nurse's office was torn off its hinges and clattered down the hall, signaling that someone had thrown it away. What ever mood Gohan had been in previously completely evaporated once he caught sight of his frantic mother entering the room.

"My baby! Where's my baby?" the mother of two shrieked. Fortunately for the Son boy, the nurse had left for some reason or another. At least she wouldn't have to deal with Chichi, especially one that would kill if her child was hurt.

And he wouldn't put it past her to have ended the lives of some unfortunate souls on her way here.

"M-mom?" the boy stuttered.

That immediately caught the attention of Chichi as her head whipped around to look at him; relief filling here eyes. The next thing Gohan knew, his mother was crushing him with a hug as she wailed "My precious baby boy! I was so worried! Don't you worry! Mama's here to make it all better!"

Slowly, Gohan's face took on a bluish tint. "M-m-mom…can't…br-breathe…" he gasped out.

Not releasing her hold, the Son mother looked at her son curiously. "What's that Gohan?"

"N-need…a-a-air…"

Realizing what the demi-saiyan was getting at, Chichi immediately released her hold, allowing sweet oxygen into the boy's lungs. "Well, why didn't you tell me you couldn't breathe?" she admonished.

Even as Gohan recovered, he knew better than to tell her he had. Back-talking his mother was the last thing anyone should do; at least if they didn't want to receive a fifty year coma.

So instead he asked "Mom, what are you doing up here?"

"The school nurse told me you had been taken to her office," Chichi told him, her emotions beginning to well up in her once more. "I had no idea what had happened. And then she mentioned blood. Did one of those mean delinquents stab you? How dare they think they can get away with hurting my baby?"

"Mom, I'm okay. Don't worry," the Son boy said in an attempt to pacify his mother. If the Son woman went on a rampage, in his school no less, there was no telling how high the body count would be.

Dad was gonna have a lot of company if that happened.

* * *

It had taken awhile, but Chichi was in higher spirits than when she had first arrived at her son's school. Her baby was gonna live after his horrible experience with the hooligans that ran rampant in this school. He even had the strength to walk her to the front of the school and see her off. Though, if she had it her way, every single delinquent in this school would be under lockdown and forced to become civilized people. Right now, her baby was the only hope for a bright future from this generation and the other kids needed to catch up.

Speaking of which, walking down the hall in the opposite way she was going were a couple of delinquents that called this place school. Didn't they know they were supposed to be in class and not doing what ever delinquent activity they were up to?

Before she could tell them exactly what they should have been doing, she overheard the two teens speaking about the injustice of their situation. "Can you believe this?" one of the teens complained. "Sent to the principle's office for switching out videos? It's not like we killed anyone."

"It's bogus," his companion agreed. "If it wasn't for that one kid bleeding to death, it wouldn't even be that big of a deal."

Chichi's eye twitched. Were they talking about her baby?

"Light weight," the first teen snorted. "What was his name again? Hango? Johan? Bob?"

"Something that dumb," the second teen agreed. "Though did you see the girl the teacher was with in the video? Damn, she was hot."

"Hell yeah I saw. The teach has some pretty good tastes."

"You think he could give us her number?"

Steam was pouring out of the Son woman's ears. Her son's teacher was responsible for this? How dare he subjugate her precious baby boy to such filth! She was gonna have his head on a pike before the day was out!

Gohan had taken noticed of his mother's rising anger. Gulping, he tried to defuse the situation the best way he could. "Now Mom, don't be rash…"

"I'll kill him!" Chichi shrieked, causing the demi-saiyan to go temporarily deaf. With a wrath that only she could wield, the Son matriarch stomped her way down the hall, leaving footprints in the floor, accompanied by a spider web of cracks around each of them.

The daughter of the Ox King was pissed and depending on one's point of view, she knew exactly where Gohan's classroom was.

Damn those open houses.

* * *

After the nice video adventure, things had calmed down back in the classroom. For this, Videl was grateful. Normally her fellow classmates would've been in full gossip mode, talking about the teacher's extracurricular activity as if their lives depended on it. While there was a time and place for everything, the Satan girl was fairly certain that there wasn't any place for such a subject to be spoken of.

Unfortunately, the normalcy wouldn't last. The class had just moved onto…some other subject that had something to do with class, when the door of the classroom began to bend out into the hall. An ear piercing squeal from the unnatural pressure being used on the door reach everyone's ears, causing them to flinch.

Suddenly, the door was torn off of its hinges and in stepped a dark haired, middle aged woman, dressed in a yellow housedress and purple shawl. However, the woman's dress was of little concern to the Satan girl.

The look of pure rage on the woman's face had all of the dark headed girl's attention.

Apparently, the look also had her classmates' attention too; some even scared to the point of soiling themselves.

A stinky odor in the air informed the girl that some already had.

Immediately, the woman focused her attention right on the teacher. In an instant, she had the poor man by the collar of his shirt, screaming at him at the top of her lungs. "HOW DARE YOU SHOW SMUT TO MY BABY BOY? DO YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE YOU NEARLY ROTTED HIS INNOCENT MIND, YOU IDIOT? MY GOHAN ALMOST DIED TODAY!"

Despite the ravings of this anger possessed woman, Videl managed to pick up on the name of her classmate. Gohan. This was Gohan's mom? Wow…

No wonder he was terrified of woman.

As if to confirm her assertion, standing in the doorway of the classroom was Gohan, a look of utter humiliation and shock on his face. Today just wasn't his day.

Suddenly, a burst of laughter rang out from next to the Satan girl. Turning her head, she saw Sharpner laughing his head off. "This is too rich. Wittle Baby Gohan has to bwing in his mommy. What a Momma's boy!"

The room became deathly quiet, all except for Sharpner's laughter. Before Videl realized what was happening, Gohan's mom was in the blond jock's face, baring down on him like a raging bull. "WERE YOU THE ONE THAT ALMOST KILLED MY BABY? YOU'RE IN CAHOOTS WITH THE TEACHER, I JUST KNOW IT! MARK MY WORDS, I'LL PUT YOU IN A WORLD OF PAIN SO BAD, YOUR GRANDKIDS WILL FEEL IT!"

Ow, that would be a lot of pain.

However, due to the woman's very loud rantings, a couple of the school's resident cops had come to investigate the source of the disturbance. Seeing the Son woman about to break one of the students in two, they rushed to put a stop to her.

It was as if time had slowed down for the Satan girl. One moment, Gohan's mom was chewing one of her friends out; the next, one of her arms shot up with her elbow bent and her hand balled into a fist, the back of it nailing one of the cops in the face. The blow knocked the man off his feet and sent him crashing to the floor, completely unconscious.

Before the other cop could even breathe, the Son woman had straightened her arm out, keeping her fist intact. Spinning, on the toes of one foot, she backhanded the poor security man, sending him face first into the wall, his body hanging limply as his head created a hole in the wall.

Well, security was down. It was time to stop looking like an awestricken fool and put a stop to this madness. Gulping down her nervousness, though she would completely deny it later, Videl stood up to confront this mad woman.

However, before she could do anything, the woman had been picked off the ground by her son and pulled away from her latest victim. With his hands wrapped around his mother's waist, holding her as she kicked her legs out and clawed at the air to get back to Sharpner, Gohan was braving Hurricane Chichi and all of her wrath.

Had it been anyone else, Videl got the distinct feeling that that someone would be dead now.

Watching intently, the Satan girl saw the Son boy whispering into his mother's ear, trying to calm her down. What he said, she didn't know, but it appeared to be working as his mom was slowly mollified. Eventually, Gohan lowered her to the ground, though she still held a glare that could freeze the blood of every living thing in a three mile radius.

"Fine," she growled out. "We're going home." Reaching to a place behind her back, the Son woman pulled out a raincoat with the picture of a teddy bear on it; one large enough for the entire class to see. "It's looking a little cloudy out, so put this on. I don't want my little Gohan catching his death from a cold!"

* * *

Life as he knew it was over; at least in high school. Sighing for the umpteenth time that day, Gohan made his way up the stairwell towards the roof.

Today had been a nightmare. After his nosebleed and his mother's attack on various people the day before, the Son boy had taken an untold amount of teasing throughout the day. It was insane! Everything from people imitating him fainting due to blood loss, pretending to be his overprotective mother, to having offers of a teddy bear rain coat; it was overwhelming! On the bright side, Videl seemed to have taken some pity on him. When ever she had a class with him or just happened to be in his general vicinity, she stuck up for him to his tormentors. When ever the two were around, the teasing went silent. How the Satan girl's presence accomplished that, he didn't know, though he did overhear some sort of threat being made. Something that involved tonsils being ripped out through their urethras. Though he had his doubts about that being physically possible, he was thankful nonetheless.

Though knowing Videl, she probably would find a way to make good on her threat.

Unfortunately, he had been trying to avoid the Satan girl all day. The night after his horrific day at school, he had been plagued by dreams of Videl dressed as a dominatrix. The result of that had left his bed sheets oddly sticky and in order to save face, he had striped his bed, so his mother didn't see them, with plans on washing his sheets once he got home.

That wasn't the worst of it though. Because of his dreams, he couldn't help but see Videl doing some of the things that had happened not only in his dreams but in the video from yesterday. If the daughter of Satan ever found out he had been having thoughts of her in that light, well, his tonsils would be making acquaintances with his urethra.

Not exactly happy thoughts.

Fortunately, school was over and he had reached the top of the stairs. Grabbing the doorknob, he prepared to give it the twist it needed to open up when a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"You know, the front of the school is the other way. You are leaving school, right?"

Slowly, the Son boy turned to look at the one person he had hoped not to run into. Standing several steps below him was Videl, her hands on her hips, and her blue eyes boring holes into his head.

Just what he needed; more pressure.

"Ummm…uhhh," the Son boy sputtered for a moment. "I was…just…going to get some air. Yeah! That's it! Just some air to do my lungs just right."

"You can get fresh air out the front door, ya know."

"Of course I knew that! I…it's just…the roof has a good view! Yeah, I love a good view! Heh heh…"

Videl's eyes narrowed. Of all the excuses she had heard in her life, Son Gohan's were the worst. He couldn't lie to save his life! It was the number one reason why she suspected him of being the pain-in-her-butt Saiyaman. Add to the fact that he had been avoiding her all day and her suspicions were going haywire. Only a guilty man hid from his pursuer. He was hiding something; either what she suspected or something new was amiss.

She was willing to put her money on both.

"Ya know, I couldn't help but notice that you've been hiding from me all day."

"H-have I? I haven't noticed," the boy stammered.

"And considering the amount of teasing you've had all day, it's got me wondering." Closing the distance between her and her prey, the Satan girl said "If I was being unmercifully teased all day, I'd stick to the person who made sure I wasn't being teased. And since I was the person that you weren't teased around, add to the fact that you've been everywhere I'm not, it's awfully suspicious."

"H-how so?"

At this point, Gohan had his back pressed against the door, watching in dread as Videl stood on the step in front of him. Raising one hand, she begins poking her index finger into the boy's chest. "I know you're hiding something, Gohan, and it's only a matter of time before I find out what it is."

To finish her total intimidation of the Son boy, the Satan girl rose to her tiptoes and gave him her most deathly glare.

Unfortunately for the daughter of Satan, Gohan had begun spacing out as she made her announcement. As he stared down at her, the boy couldn't help but see the dominatrix version of her standing before him; devil outfit and all, along with a pair of handcuffs and a whip. Slowly, blood began making its way down his nasal passage.

However, before anything embarrassing could occur, an unlikely savior in the form of Sharpner appeared. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you."

Videl turned her head to look at the unwanted menace. Couldn't he see she was busy interrogating someone?

That was when her attention fell upon a piece of paper in the blond jock's hand. Oh great, the idiot was trying to hook up with her…again. No doubt that paper was some kind of note meant to sweep her off her feet.

"Go away, Sharpner; can't you see I'm busy? I'm not in the mood for any of your lamebrain plans to date me, so you can take that note of yours and shove it someplace uncomfortable. I'm not interested."

In response, Sharpner said "While I would normally be trying to dazzle you with my incredible sex appeal—after all, you are the hottest babe in school—this note is for Gohan. Don't worry though, I'd be happy to take you on a date anytime."

Neither dark haired teen heard past the part about the note going to Gohan. Of all the people Sharpner would try to hit on, the Son boy was the last person either of them thought he'd give a note to. This was getting weird.

And as if to make things more bizarre, the blond jock walked towards Gohan with a shy look on his face. Taking the Son boy's hand and placing the note in it, Sharpner then ran off, a noticeable blush on his face.

Sweatdropping, both teens stared down the staircase their classmate had retreated down for a couple minutes before they simultaneously looked at the note in Gohan's hand. Out loud, both read out who the note was addressed to.

"Nerd Boy's Mom?"

* * *

To STD: I get the feeling a nice, golden light began shinning from your screen as you read lol. Thanks again for mentioning the summary. As you can see, I took the suggestion to heart and put it to use.

RyRy tested; MaMa approved.


	3. Chapter 3

Wow, you guys really like this fic. It makes me sad it took so long to get it out to ya'll. But at least it's here now. Though I must say, I haven't had a response like this since Survival of the Lamest. That seems so long ago. Good memories.

* * *

The view was filled with the beauty of wide open plains of grass, lush forests of trees, and a lovely sunset on the horizon.

All of this went unnoticed as Gohan flew through the skies, his Saiyaman regalia covering him.

After his encounter with Sharpner, he was still mystified as to its cause. Never had he seen the blond act so…weird; and that was saying something. Usually the guy was arrogant, self-centered, and above all confident. That scene on the stairs; that was the complete opposite of who the boy was.

Once he and Videl had overcome their shock as to the true recipient of the note, the Satan girl had asked "What was that all about?"

"I dunno," had been his intelligent response.

Looking back at the note, they both stared at it before looking at each other, shivers going up and down both of their spines.

"Better her than me," Videl said. Upon receiving a confused look from the boy, the Satan girl couldn't help the small grin that crossed her face, an eyebrow rising up her forehead. "You seriously can't guess what that note says?"

"No, not really."

Videl stared at the Son boy before saying "Must be nice to be so innocent."

Now what could she have meant by that? She obviously knew what that note contained, but what ever it was escaped the boy. Though if he considered what Sharpner would think, less than innocent thoughts popped up.

Which ultimately led to him thinking about his recent perverted thoughts, especially about the girl standing next to him. A bright red blush appeared on his face as blood raced into it, and into other less obvious places. Oh no, he couldn't let Videl see where his mind was taking him. That was just asking for a date with her fists.

Looking down the stairs in a very unsubtle fashion, he said "Hey, he's back!" Immediately, Videl spun around, her hands balled into fists and ready to pound the blond if he dared to let his notoriously roaming hands explore her body.

Taking advantage of this distraction, he swung the roof door open and slammed it shut behind him. Taking off towards the edge of the roof, his hand pressing the magically button on his watch that released his Saiyaman costume, the Son boy heard outraged cries coming from Videl. Once he was safely away from danger, he let out a big sigh of relief. "Man…that was close!"

And that was how the Son boy found himself in his current predicament. Though he had been able to distract himself with Sharpner's weird behavior, thoughts of Videl in more provocative clothing kept popping up in his mind. Another nosebleed was working its way down his nose and that was not something he wanted to deal with at the moment. Where were those cotton balls when you needed them?

That was when he realized he was still holding onto the note. During all of his escaping and thinking, he had forgotten that it was still in his grasp. If what Videl thought was true, this wouldn't be a good thing to give to his mom.

So what would be the harm in taking a look at it before delivering it? That way he could determine if the note was harmless or…not. Unfolding it, the Son boy nearly fell out of the sky once he read it.

_Did u feel the majic to? Circle YES or NO_

_Love, The Sharpenator_

What in the world was this?! Was Sharpner off his rocker? Crumpling the note, Gohan released his hold on it and let it fall to the ground far below. No way was he subjugating his mother to that…weirdness.

* * *

Okay, it was official. Sharpner was a man with a death wish.

Though if he had asked Videl, she would've told him that a looooong time ago. Ever since receiving Sharpner's note on the stairwell, the blond had been persistent in letting his affections be known to his mom. Flowers, gifts, candy grams, and fruit baskets had been showing up at the Son residence throughout the week and always from the blond boy. It was the weekend now and the demi-saiyan had just dealt with the latest batch of gifts; a small set of dolls with very creepy eyes.

Gohan had no idea what to do; something like this had never happened to him or his family for as long as he could remember. That even included being kidnapped...twice, fighting an elite force of dancers, and a giant green cockroach.

What was really unsettling though, was Chichi's reaction to it all. Instead of being angry or even annoyed, the woman was flattered. _Flattered_! It wasn't everyday a woman could catch the attention of a boy half her age; not to say that she was old or anything. And it wasn't like she was interested of course, just that it was nice to be appreciated for something other than housework.

Besides, the Son boy wasn't worried about his parents' marriage in the least. If there was one thing that would last through life and death, it was their union of matrimony. It was just Sharpner's overtures to his mother were getting…creepy. In fact, just before he had left school for the weekend, the jock had insisted that he call him "Daddy."

Gohan had flown home that day with his first ever migraine.

And then there was Videl, the other person in his head, not to mention his dreams. She had been hoping that Sharpner's sudden infatuation with Chichi would take his attention off of her.

No such luck.

In fact, Sharpner had been hitting on her as if nothing had ever happened. That had ticked the Satan girl off but what really got her anger flowing was when the jock had said that he would be willing to "share himself" with her and Gohan's mom. He even admitted that he preferred that option. The only thing that would top that would be if Videl and Chichi got into a mud wrestling match, the victor winning Sharpner's affections.

As if Gohan didn't have enough problems. For his part, though, he had done his best to avoid both Sharpner and Videl with varying degrees of success. The less he had to consider the blond as his step-dad and Videl as a…better not go there; the better off he would be.

Unfortunately, Videl, who was completely unaware of his true motives, thought that she was closing in on knowing his secrets, due to his avoidance of her. Because of that, she had redoubled her efforts to following him around, waiting for him to slip up and reveal what he wished not to be revealed. Thank Kami it was the weekend. The Son boy really needed the break from the insanity at Orange Star. Saturday had passed without trouble and Sunday was just about to begin.

_Ding dong._

What the? Who in the world was at his house at this hour in the morning? Rarely did the Sons have company showing up unless they had made prior arrangements.

Overcome with curiosity, Gohan walked to his front door and opened it.

He soon wished he hadn't.

Standing in a pressed, white suit was Sharpner, holding a bouquet of pink flowers.

Oh no, that guy just wouldn't give up, would he? How he found out where he lived was beyond him, but now Gohan was seriously considering throwing out his mother's "no powers rule" and send the guy flying back to Satan City. While violence wasn't an option he normally considered, it was looking like a very attractive prospect.

"Hey son, how are you this beautiful morning?" Sharpner greeted.

Gohan narrowed his eyes. "I've had better."

"That's too bad. Anyways, I was wondering if your mother was home, I wanted to—"

"Gohan! Who is that?" the demi-saiyan heard her mother call out. Quickly considering his options, the Son boy decided the best person to deal with this unwanted guest was Chichi.

"It's someone for you!" Gohan called back.

"For me?" Chichi frowned as she walked into the living room. Approaching the door, Gohan backed away, leaving the Son matriarch with the nicely dressed Sharpner.

Staring at him with wide eyes, Chichi said "Uhh, who are you?"

Putting on his sexiest smile, Sharpner held the bouquet to the woman. "I am Sharpner, the man that is head over heels in love with you. Please accept this token of my affections."

Chichi blinked. O…kay, this was awkward. So this was the boy sending her all that junk. Apparently he had been getting the wrong idea when she didn't properly refuse his overtures. It looked like she was gonna have to let him down gently.

"Oh, thank you," she said, though she didn't accept the flowers. "It was very kind of you to go out of your way to come here but I believe I've given you the wrong impression. I'm married you see, so it'd be best if you found someone else."

Sharpner brushed the rejection aside with ease. He did have a lot of practice after all. "There's no wrong impression here. You are the ketchup to my mustard."

Chichi sweatdropped. "What?"

"You're the spoon to my fork."

Silence.

"The booger to my snot."

"Okay, I don't know where you're going with this but it's time for you to leave," Chichi spoke up, clearly disturbed.

"It's your husband isn't it? He's the reason why you're refusing to acknowledge your attraction to me," Sharpner suddenly said.

"I beg your pardon?!"

"It's okay, I get it. That's why we should elope! Leave the windbag and come live in bliss with me."

Chichi's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I don't know what drugs you're on mister, and frankly, I don't care. Now get out of here and don't come here again."

"You don't have to—"

And before Sharpner could continue wooing the Son woman, Chichi slammed the front door in his face; a thud being heard soon after. If Gohan had to guess, his mother had hit the boy with the door hard enough to knock him off his feet. Taking a look at her, he could practically see the dark aura emanating from her. Probably a good idea not to attract her attention.

And hopefully, this was the end of Sharpner's attempts at courting his mother. Though if his experiences at school were any indication, this was only just the beginning.

Oh great, the migraine was coming back.

* * *

To BoogaBooga for chapter 1: Dihydrogen monoxide...at least it doesn't discriminate lol.

To Luke: You flatter me sir, not that I don't mind. My ego loves the attention.

To STD: Looks like I have a fan. Yay!

RyRy tested; MaMa approved.


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is dedicated to Anonymous Void. Hope this makes your day.

And now, a disclaimer: I don't own Sir-Mix-a-lot's _I Like Big Butts_

* * *

Son Gohan was a dead man.

Or so Videl thought as her jet copter brought her closer to her destination. Currently, she was flying over scenic landscape that would've normally held her attention as she passed by. However, she had more occupying thoughts, namely how she was gonna make the boy pay for fooling her.

She had been hot on his tail all week, getting closer to discovering the secrets he held. She knew she had been right when he began avoiding her at the beginning of the week. Though she had to admit, Sharpner also had been more annoying than usual to him. His fascination with his mom was a bit disturbing but still, it wasn't an excuse.

She even had an ambush ready for him after school the day before, just waiting to interrogate him on the roof. Unfortunately, he never showed up, ticking the Satan girl off immensely. He would pay for making her waste all that time equal in blood…or secrets. Which ever came first.

Checking the coordinates on her copter's computer, she found she was closing in on her target. Perfect. It had taken a bit of digging in the student database but she found the file on Son Gohan, obtaining his home address as planned.

There was no where the boy could hide now. He would give her what she wanted…whether he wanted to or not.

* * *

After the visit of Sharpner that morning, Gohan had found the last couple hours heavenly. His day had gotten better, even as he spent his time between studying and relaxing. Yep, he needed this weekend badly.

Unfortunately, like all good things that came into his life, his peace came to a crashing halt as he heard outraged shrieks outside his house.

Not sure what was going on, the Son boy hurried to the front door, hoping against hope that no one was dying or hurt. Finding the front door wide open caused the demi-saiyan's anxiety to rise exponentially. Rushing outside, he found the last thing he had wanted to see.

Standing on his front lawn was his mother and Videl, both glaring daggers at each other and looking ready to kill. In the background, Videl's jet copter sat, indicating how she had arrived at the Son house; not to mention an excited Sharpner as he watched the building tension between the women.

Wait a second, Sharpner was still here? That thought was pushed aside though, when Gohan began catching the heated verbal exchange between the two scariest women in his life.

"Alright, listen to me you old windbag, I am not here to corrupt you son," Videl growled.

"You think I'd believe a hussy like you? I know what you city girls are like. All you care about is getting inside innocent boys' pants," Chichi shot back.

"You think I want to get into Gohan's pants? That's ridiculous!"

"Then why are you protesting so much?"

"Cause its stupid!"

"Only because it's true!"

"Hey lady, wake up. We don't live in the Stone Age anymore."

"Are you insinuating that I'm old?!"

"If the shoe fits."

Meanwhile, Sharpner was eagerly anticipating the upcoming catfight. Luckily, there was an inviting puddle of mud close by. If Kami was generous, both women would fall into it and tear each other's clothes off. Mud Wrestling was such a great sport.

Gohan was having other ideas, though they weren't the most pleasant ones. Stopping a fight between his mother and Videl was like trying to stop two pit vipers from attacking each other. Who ever tried to stop them would be utterly destroyed.

Sometimes Gohan hated his life.

Taking a deep breath, the Son boy strode forth, standing in the canyon of death between the women. "Okay, both of you stop this right now."

"You hear that, hussy? My son just told you to scram," Chichi said.

"Are you deaf, hag!" Videl shouted.

"Enough!" Gohan shouted, silencing both women. Turning to Chichi, the Son boy said, "Mom, go back into the house, I'll handle this."

Giving the boy a look, the Son mother reluctantly back downed. While she never would've done such a thing, the serious tone of her son's voice told her that it would be best if she agreed. Besides, if that hussy made any move she didn't like, she could always beat the crap out of her. She'd just have to keep a very close eye on her.

Feeling grateful that he got one of the combatants to back down, Gohan turned to face a still seething Videl, who had her eyes firmly locked onto Chichi as she stepped back a couple steps. "Now Videl, what are you doing—"

"What is wrong with that woman?!" the Satan girl screeched. "I didn't do anything and she accused me of wanting to sleep with everything that moved!"

"Okay Videl, just—"

"Oh, so I was right, was I?" Chichi called out.

With a war cry, Videl lunged forward, wanting to do as much damage to the older woman as possible. Gohan, to his credit, held his ground as he wrapped his arms around the girl, lifting her off the ground as she clawed at the air behind him. Chichi laughed out loud as she saw the frustration on Videl's face, causing her to claw more frantically.

"Come on Videl! Calm down!" Gohan ordered, holding the squirming Satan girl firmly in his arms. Being the girl that she was though, Videl ignored the order, still trying to get at the boy's mother. It took several minutes for the daughter of Satan to realize she wasn't going anywhere as long as the Son boy held her in his vice-like grip. Somewhat calm, she looked the boy in the eyes, anger still evident in her own.

"Ohhh, did the hussy run out of steam already? Poor thing."

Gohan would've reprimanded his mother for such childish behavior but unfortunately, Videl had gone onto the warpath once more. Instead of returning to clawing the air once more, the Satan girl grabbed onto the boy's shoulders and pushed down, allowing her to climb over the demi-saiyan. "Just you wait, I'll tear you to pieces you demon woman!"

Though surprised by the dark headed girl's tactic, Gohan reestablished his hold on Videl, keeping her from climbing over him any further than she already had. However, due to their new positions, Videl's bosom was pressed firmly into his face, moving all over as she struggled to get free.

And all the while, Chichi kept up her taunting as she pulled her lower eyelid down and stuck her tongue out at the Satan girl.

It took quite a lot longer than the first time for Videl to calm down to the point of realizing she wasn't getting any closer to the woman she so wanted to kill. After awhile, she stopped struggling and seethed in her fury, at least until she got a hold of her head and realized she was still being held off the ground.. "Gohan! Put me down now!"

More than happy to oblige, the Son boy lowered the girl down, keeping his hold on her until he was positive she wouldn't make a dash at his mother. Upon releasing her, he backed a step away, just to make sure. With all the tension in the air, no one took noticed of the two fresh bloodstains on Videl's shirt, precisely where her chest was.

"Now then, is everyone calm?" Gohan asked.

Reluctantly, Videl grunted her affirmation, while Chichi just smirked. At least they weren't trying to attack each other. Now, the Son boy just needed to find out why in the world his classmate was here and how he could get her headed back to Satan City.

Unfortunately, an unnecessary evil just had to make himself known. "Awww, ladies…you don't have to fight over me. There's plenty of the Sharpenator to go around! What say the three of us go out and get jiggy with—"

Immediately, Videl's rage returned, only with a new target to direct it at. She wasn't the only one though as Chich's anger came back as well, also being aimed at the blond. Simultaneously, both women drew back a fist and launched them at their common foe. As one, their punches nailed Sharpner in the head, knocking him out instantly as he felt to the ground, fist impressions in his face.

Videl and Chichi just looked on at the slumped form of Sharpner, rage clearly written on their faces. Then as if they were given a cue, both spun on their heels till their backs were facing each other, their arms crossing over their chests as they pointed their noses up into the air and shut their eyes.

Watching the scene, Gohan couldn't help but wonder if those two were related in some way. Kami, they practically acted the same! Almost as if to prove him right as well, Goten made himself known, pulling on his brother's pants to get his attention. The little boy had witnessed the entire scene from the attempted catfight to the identical stances of feeling offended. "That girl and Mom are a lot alike, aren't they, Big Brother?"

Gohan just nodded his head. If a seven year old could make that observation, then it was probably a good idea to just agree. At least if the women turned on them, he was sure they wouldn't harm the kid.

Or would they?

Suddenly, Videl began stalking away towards her jet copter. "I've had enough of this day," she declared. "I'll see you at school on Monday, Gohan."

That was when Chichi made her own move, heading to the front door of the Son house.. "Alright boys, show's over. Back into the house."

Without hesitation, Goten scampered off after the Son matriarch. Gohan, on the other hand, was a bit torn in his thinking. On one hand, he could follow his mother's order and go back into the house but face what ever dark mood Videl would have at school the next time he saw her. On the other hand, he could go smooth things over with the Satan girl, hopefully calming her down enough to be civil with him the next time they met, though at the chance of provoking his mother's wrath by siding with "the hussy." Oh, what was a Son boy to do?

Sighing, he moved towards Sharpner's still unconscious body. Hoisting him up with one hand, Gohan shouted to his mother "Just give me a second, Mom. I'm gonna have Videl take this guy with her."

What ever the woman's answer was, though it had to be somewhat positive since she didn't start shouting, Gohan didn't hear it as he made his way over to the Satan girl's jet copter, his extra baggage resting on his shoulder. At the moment, the girl had climbed into her vehicle and had started it up, the engine revving as it warmed up.

"Videl!" Gohan shouted as he tried to get her attention. Fortunately, it didn't take much of an effort to get the girl's attention as she turned her head to look at him. The only problem was that she could barely make out what the Son boy was saying, due to the roar of the engine of her jet copter. It took her a moment to finally turn it off to hear her classmate better. "What do you want?" she snaped.

Caught off guard, Gohan lost his train of thought. Not exactly the best thing he could've done in this situation. "Um...uh...well, I was just going...to...ah..." he stammers.

Unfortunately, Videl's temper was really short at the moment, due to her fight with Chichi. "Spit it out!" she yelled as she swung her body around in her seat, facing the demi-saiyan with her whole body. A fierce glare was firmly entrenched on her face as she stared at the Son boy at eye level; her body leaning towards him as their faces nearly touch. Embarrassment burned its way onto Gohan's face, due to their unintended nearness, causing him to take a step back so he can think again.

"I-I'm sorry about my mom. She can be a bit harsh to people she doesn't know…and sometimes to people she does. She means well but she can get carried away," Gohan began. "And if it's any consolation, I know you're not…what my mom was calling you. In fact, I think you're a nice girl."

It was Videl's turn to feel a blush creep onto her face, though not as bad as Gohan's. It wasn't everyday someone called her nice, or even a girl. She'd been called many unflattering things but this was a first. "Umm…thanks," she spoke. "I'm still going to figure you out, Gohan, but…you're a…nice boy too. A little lacking in the spine department, but a nice boy nonetheless." The teens let out a chuckle at the remark, soon settling into a comfortable silence. With nothing else to say, the Satan girl let's a small smile appear on her lips before staring her jet copter again; this time taking off once ready.

And as Gohan watched the Satan girl fly into the distance, a small weight began to make itself known on his shoulder. Looking, the Son boy nearly let out a sigh. He forgot to hand Sharpner over to Videl, not exactly what he had planned. Looking to his house, he quickly ruled out taking the jock in there. As much as he didn't like Sharpner knowing where he lived, he liked the thought of him roaming his home far less.

Unfortunately, that didn't leave him with many options. Sighing, the Son boy drifted into the air, flying towards the horizon, though making sure not to go in Videl's direction. He didn't need her turning around and seeing him in midair without some sort of flying mechanism.

It wasn't long until he found one of the nearby villages. Landing on the outskirts, the Son boy laid the still comatose blond on the ground, putting him into a position he would at least wake up comfortably in. Quickly checking his pockets, Gohan found a capsule that contained the boy's car. Hopefully he'd just head home after waking up.

Looking around, Gohan then took off into the air, flying back to the Son house.

* * *

Compared to that morning, the rest of the day had been quite tame. Not that the Son boy was complaining. It was nice not having to worry about any random visit from his classmates.

That was until he went to bed.

He had been lying under his bed sheets, staring at the ceiling as he waited for sleep to claim him when a loud racket suddenly rang out. Leaping from his bed, Gohan rushed to his window, opening it to find the last thing he had wanted to see.

Standing out in the open was Sharpner, holding a boom box over his head as he looked up at the demi-saiyan. It quickly became evident what the loud noise was, not to mention where it was coming from. Though judging by the words he was hearing, he had no idea what the blond jock was up to.

_I like big butts and I cannot lie_

_You other brother can't deny_

_That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist_

_And a round thing in your face_

_I get—_

And that was where the song ended as Sharpner quickly brought the boom box to the ground and turned it off. Gohan wasn't sure what the boy was up to but he could've sworn he heard him mutter something like "Damn it, wrong track."

As he fiddled with the thing, the jock looked up to see the bewildered face on the demi-saiyan. "What the? What are you doing here, Nerd Boy?"

Gohan couldn't help but sweatdrop. "Uh, I live here, Sharpner."

"Well, which window is your mo—"

Suddenly, Sharpner was nailed in the head by a flying frying pan. Looking to his left, Gohan saw his mother leaning out of her window, her hair full of curlers as she fumed with rage. "Do you know what time it is?!" she shrieked. "It's dark and my baby Gohan has school in the morning!! Now get off of my property!! You're choice in love ballads stink!!" All the while, Sharpner's unconscious body lay unmoving, aside from an occasional twitch.

That was when Chichi turned her sights on her sons; Gohan, who had seen the whole thing, and Goten, who had looked out the window when he heard his mother shouting. "As for you two, back to bed!" Then without waiting to see if they did as told, she leaned back into her room and slammed her window shut.

* * *

To amy-the-rat: I know poking things with sticks is fun. Just don't aim for an eye.

To STD: Oh wow, a positive reply on the note. I guess I need to make a follow-up one.

RyRy tested; MaMa approved.


	5. Chapter 5

Gohan trudged down the halls of Orange Star High, wondering what he had ever done to be treated so cruelly.

Sharpner just wouldn't give up. He was so insistent about dating his mom, and thus inserting himself as the father figure in the demi-saiyan's life, that he had woken the poor boy up at the horrendous hour of 4 AM.

Apparently, the jock thought it was up to him to be the man around the house and make sure the Son boy got to school on time; not to mention himself, though he could've cared less if he went to school or not. Somehow, someway, Sharpner had found a way to get inside his house and promptly forced him out of his bed. Upon the announcement of the jock taking him to school, Gohan had to suppress the urge to throw him out to window. Even though he had been rudely awoken, the manners Chichi had force fed him all of his life refused to let him get rid of the blond menace. On top of that, as he got dressed, Gohan realized there was no way he could use his usually means of going to school with Sharpner around. A floating orange cloud would be too strange, even for the king of weirdness; not to mention there was the most likely possibility of the blond not being able to ride the cloud.

With all those factors added together, Gohan found himself taking the long way to school via Sharpner's capsule car. There was just no justice in this cruel world, especially for half-saiyan teenagers.

And at the moment, all Gohan wanted to do was just collapse to the floor and get the precious sleep he had been denied. It would've been so worth it too, until he ran into Videl. The girl had noticed his zombie-like state and had come to investigate the matter. "What's wrong with you?"

Gohan eyed the girl for a moment before saying "Sharpner…drove me…woke me up…must…resist…urge…to kill…"

The Satan girl blinked her eyes. Who would've ever thought the innocently-minded Gohan would have such murderous thoughts? That was something she usually would've thought of.

Today was going to be very interesting.

And speaking of interesting, here came the man of all the Son boy's problems. "There you are, son! I've been looking all over for you!" Walking up to Gohan, Sharpner rested one of his arms on the boy's shoulders. "Now I know I made you skip breakfast but think of it this way; I'm preparing you for life. You won't always have the luxuries your mother and I provide for you."

Turning his head then, the blond set his attention on the Satan girl. "And don't think I forgot about you, babe. I have to tend to some fatherly matters right now but we can meet up again later. We have so much to catch up on."

Videl's hands balled into fists. Seriously, was this guy becoming more and more annoying with each passing day? What would it take to get it through his thick skull that anyone of the female gender had nothing but homicidal feelings towards him? Did he have to be killed just to get that point across?

Well, if that's what it took, Videl would be damned if anyone took that satisfaction away from her.

Before she could act though, Gohan stepped away from Sharpner, removing the boy's arm from his shoulders. "Sharpner, I'm just not in the mood to deal with you right now. Just leave me alone, alright?"

Sharpner didn't look the least bit put back. "They grow up so fast."

That caused Videl to look at the blond weirdly. "What in the world are you talking about?"

Before the jock could answer though, Videl's watch communicator went off. "_Videl! We have a situation at the construction site downtown! A man's been shouting at the top of his lungs about how bad his life is. We think he's a jumper."_

The Satan girl immediately answered the call. "Don't worry Chief, I'm on my way." Spinning on her heels, she raced down the hall towards the staircase leading up to the roof.

As Sharpner watched the girl disappear into the stairwell, he failed to notice the sudden disappearance of his other friend.

* * *

A man wanting to commit suicide was a terrible thing, yet Gohan couldn't help but feel grateful. He had been having a bad morning up to this point, so anything that could get his mind off of it was gladly welcomed. Besides, perhaps saving someone's life would put him in a better mood.

The Son boy flew towards the location of the construction site the Police Chief had mentioned as quickly as he could. It wasn't too hard to find considering the street in front of the building was covered with police cars and emergency vehicles. Close by was Videl's jet copter, signifying that the Satan girl was here as well.

Well, time to get to work.

Landing on the building across the street from the construction site, the demi-saiyan soon located where the jumper was. The man appeared to be shouting down to the cops below about…something; he couldn't quite hear what exactly. Might have something to do with his tired state.

Suddenly, Gohan noticed some movement behind the man. Looking closer, the Son boy saw Videl approaching the man from behind, trying to sneak up on him and prevent his desperate action.

However, the man seemed to know what the Satan girl was up to as he swung around to face her. Some more words were shouted from his mouth, but since he had his back to the hero-disguised saiyan, it was hard to hear exactly what.

Then before Videl could stop him, the man leapt from the building.

Alarms went off in Gohan's head as he launched himself towards the falling man. What in the world was he thinking?! Was he insane?!

Fortunately, the Son boy reached the jumper before he could fall too far, catching him in his arms bridal style. "I got you sir!" he declared as he deepened his voice.

What happened next completely took the demi-saiyan by surprised. "It's about time you showed up!" the jumper proclaimed. "I've been waiting to meet you for a looooong time."

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Gohan stammered.

Instead, the man gave the boy the once over before cuddling into his body. "Don't worry your pretty little head off. I'd let you save me _any_ day."

Not liking what he was hearing, Gohan immediately flew towards the closest floor of the under-construction building. Upon setting the man down, he soon discovered that the jumper had other plans. Though his feet were now on the ground, the man had wrapped his arms around the Son boy's torso. "Mmmm, you're warm," he said in a husky voice.

"Could you please let me go, sir?" Gohan said uncomfortably.

"You're just too much, Mr. Saiyaman."

Okay, this was getting really weird. As gently as he could, he pushed the man away from him. Upon seeing his "admirer" making another attempt to hug him, Gohan leapt back. "Please sir, cease and desist!"

The next thing Gohan knew, the man began chasing him around the floor, trying to get his hands on him. What was with this guy?! Couldn't he see how uncomfortable he was making him?

* * *

It was this sight of the demi-saiyan fleeing from the persistent man that Videl walked in on, slightly taken back. The Satan girl nearly broke out laughing when she realized the man intent on making Saiyaman his life partner.

You didn't see this everyday.

Suddenly, Videl felt the caped hero behind her, trying to use her as an obstacle between him and his admirer. "Miss Videl, please! You've got to help me!" he pleaded.

"Help you?" the Satan girl said, clearly amused. "I thought you were the _Great_ Saiyaman. Can't you handle something like this with ease?"

"I've never been in a situation like this!" the hero replied panicked. "Please, I'll do anything! Just help me!"

A sly grin crossed the Satan girl's face. "Anything?"

"Yes, anything!"

"And if I said I wanted you to show me who you were?"

There was a pause from the man. "Wouldn't you want something else?"

Videl tilted her head up to look at the ceiling, pretending to think. "Ya know, I'm starting to think you and your admirer make a lovely couple."

Desperation enveloped the hero instantly. "Okay, okay! Just make him go away!"

A wicked grin spread over the Satan girl's face. "So we have a deal?"

"Yes! Deal! Now help!"

This was absolutely perfect! The daughter of Satan was mere moments from finally unmasking this thorn in her side and all she had to do was drive a gay man away from the man. Unfortunately, that was where Videl hit her first obstacle. How was she gonna get rid of this guy? It wasn't as if he was bothering her or committing any crimes; though she could use disturbing the peace because of his false suicide attempt. That would work for a short amount of time but what would stop this man from threatening suicide again? The short term prospects were very tempting but her loyalty to maintaining harmony within Satan City kept her from acting on it. She needed a long term solution.

So what would drive a gay man away? Well, they weren't interested in woman, that was for sure. It'd be stupid to try and pass Saiyaman off as one, especially since he was obviously a guy. Perhaps she should tell the guy that Saiyaman was her boyfriend or something. Videl immediately trashed that idea. There was no way she would be romantically linked to a guy who wore a trash can on his head. Unfortunately, that was the only avenue that showed the most promise.

Perhaps she didn't need to declare a relationship with Saiyaman. It was possible if she and him had some display of a relationship that would be enough to accomplish her task. Besides, she could shoot down any possibility of further attachment later. Though not the best idea around, it would have to do.

With that in mind, Videl spun around, facing a surprised Saiyaman. Before he could react, the Satan girl grabbed the collar of his green gi shirt and pulled him down towards her. The next thing the hero or gay man knew, Videl had her lips pressed onto Saiyaman's, stunning both of them, though for different reasons.

A few moments later, Videl broke the kiss and looked towards the gay man, who looked as if he were on the verge of tears. "It…it can't be!" the man gasped. "It's just not fair! Why do all the cute ones have to be taken?!"

A smirk grew on Videl's face. Her ploy had worked like a charm. Now it was time to collect on the hero's promise to her.

"Alright Saiyaman, its time we had a talk," the Satan girl declared as she grabbed the still dazed hero and pulled him away from the emotionally shattered gay man; all three oblivious to the helicopter hovering across the street.

* * *

Chichi stared at the TV set shocked. There, on the screen, was her little boy in his Saiyaguy costume, kissing that hussy that had showed up during the weekend. Her son…was kissing a girl…on TV.

She knew it! That girl just wanted to get into her son's pants! She was just like all of those city tramps with their lusty motives. There was no way she was gonna let that hussy destroy the innocents of her oldest child; nuh uh, no way. She'd be dead and buried before she would let that happen!

That was when the voice of the reporter catching the scene made himself known. "Well, that's young love for ya. I'm sure the citizens of Satan City will approve of this little romance between the Great Saiyaman and Satan City's own Videl Satan. As everyone knows, Videl is the daughter of Hercule Satan, the man who defeated Cell. Phone calls have been made to Satan Manor but as of yet, there have been no replies.

Chichi just stared at the screen, her anger draining out of her. Satan? That girl was the daughter of that fraud that got rich off of her son's achievement?

And if that was the case, that meant this Videl girl was also rich. Wheels began turning inside the mother's head. Perhaps she needed to stop by her son's school again…

* * *

With the crisis of the jumper thankfully over, Gohan found himself in a completely new predicament. After receiving a kiss from the girl he thought would rather kill him with an ice pick, the demi-saiyan now found himself alone with her. He had made a deal with the devil girl and she wanted to collect.

"Well, I've held my end of the bargain," the Satan girl said, "now it's your turn. Take off the helmet, Saiyaman."

To say the boy was nervous would be quite the understatement. "A-are you sure you wouldn't want anything else? I'm sure we can make a much better arrangement."

"Zip it, Saiyaman. You said you'd do anything for my help and I want you to show me who you are. Now get to it before I remove your lungs and use them as footballs."

Gohan sighed. There was no way out of this. Sure, he could've flown away but it was only a matter of time before the Satan girl would hunt him down again and demand to know his identity. He got the feeling though, she'd be a lot less nice about her asking if he did that.

Moving his hands to his head, the Son boy gripped his helmet and slid it off.

For a moment, Videl just stared at his face. A second later, the girl shouted out "I knew it! I just knew you were Saiyaman!" Pumping a fist into the air, Videl took on the look of a kid that just found out what she was getting for Christmas.

Gohan just sighed again. Well, his secret was out. He was completely at the Satan girl's mercy as to what she'd do with this knowledge. Would she keep it to herself? Hold a press conference to announce his identity to the world? Something even more sinister?

What Videl eventually did caught him off guard. Walking up to him, the Satan girl patted his check with his hand, a grin on her face. "Cheer up! I would've found out sooner or later."

Gohan just nodded his head, not even trusting himself to make a verbal reply.

Still looking at him with her grin, the Satan girl said "You know, we should probably head back to school. We've already missed first period."

The Son boy let out a cry of despair. "I completely forgot about school! My mom's gonna kill me if she finds out I wasn't in class!"

Videl shook her head in amusement. "Tell ya what Gohan; ride with me in my jet copter and I'll make an excuse for you. Probably something with Sharpner bugging you."

Gohan blinked at the girl, surprised. "You'd do that?"

"Sure, it's the least I can do for you since you have been helping out."

"Gee, thanks."

However, despite the generous offer from the Satan girl, Gohan got an uneasy feeling that he was about to be making more concessions to the girl. Knowing his luck, she'd find some way to get flying lessons out of him.

* * *

This day just couldn't get any better. Not only had Videl finally been able to confirm her suspicions that Son Gohan and the Great Saiyaman were one and the same, but now she could add flying lessons from the boy for helping him out with his tardiness. The guy just couldn't stop thanking her for helping him out, he actually wanted to repay her in some way.

Yet another opening the Satan girl used to her advantage.

Now that she was knew that flight was possible, without aid from machines, she'd be flying high in the sky in no time! Boy, wouldn't her dad be surprised when she showed him her new ability!

Unfortunately, the two teens ran into the last person either of them wanted to see at the moment. Standing in front of the school was Sharpner, who was approaching the jet copter as if he were a man on a mission.

As Videl got out of the copter, along with Gohan after he had changed his clothes, the Satan girl could feel her temper rising. It always did that when she wasn't in the mood to deal with the annoying blond jock.

"Videl! I was so worried about you!" the blond exclaimed as he held out his arms in an attempt to hug her. In response, Videl ducked the hug and walked towards the front door of the school, leaving Sharpner to wonder where the girl had gone as she wasn't in his loving arms.

Gohan soon appeared next to her as they approached the school. Neither one talking as they left their "friend" behind. Truthfully, they had had enough of the guy for the day and it would be too soon if they heard from him again.

Yet, fate would throw another obstacle in their way; this time in the form of Son Chichi. However, unlike the last time Videl had met the woman, the Son mother seemed more remorseful.

Seeing her son with the Satan girl, Chichi prepared herself for what she was about to do. "Hello," she greeted.

Videl didn't respond as Gohan beat her to the punch. "Mom? What are you doing here?"

Taking a deep breath, the Son woman said to Gohan "I've had a bit of time to think about what happened yesterday and I just feel horrible with the way I treated your lady friend." Looking to Videl, she continued "I'd like to apologize for my actions."

The Satan girl's eyes blinked. O…kay…this was weird. She had been expecting more of a violent rampage instead of an apology. "Umm…thanks, I guess. Apology accepted."

Chichi smiled warmly. "Would you like to stop by the house this weekend? Spend some time with the family."

Suddenly, Sharpner made his presence known. "That sounds like a great idea! Me and the boys can bond while you ladies can cook me dinner. We'd be like a family!"

Simultaneously, large veins began throbbing on the dark headed women's heads. If that boy said one more things, just one insignificant word, he was gonna pay.

"Then the three of us can get friendlier in the bedroom, if you know what I mean."

* * *

The students of Orange Star High just stared into the sky. They had seen some strange things in their time but this one had to take the cake.

Hanging from the flagpole was a beaten Sharpner. Bruises and trickles of blood covered his body, or at least the parts the students could see of him. There was no doubt that who ever had beaten him up had done some damage to his covered body parts.

Yet the strangest thing wasn't that he was beaten up or even up on a flag pole. It was how he hanging from the pole. Sharpner hung five feet from the very top of the flagpole, leaning forward as overstretched underwear emerged from his pants. The waistband of his briefs was wrapped around the top of the pole. Many people couldn't help but hold their backsides as they imagined how painful the wedgie the jock was receiving was.

As more and more students stared at the scene, one of the teens said "Wow, I never knew Sharpner wore bunny rabbit underwear."

* * *

To STD: An amusing story you say? I guess you need to show me the way to it. Is it already on ffn?

To Sigfried Wild: A crazy and insane story with some logical flow too! A bleeding Gohan is a funny Gohan after all.

And this is the end of Come To Daddy. A bit short to my usual work but that just how everything was planned. There was a very nice turn out for this fic and that just puts a smile on my face. Thanks to all who reviewed this story. You make writing stories worthwhile.

It may be anothe long while before you see my pretty name again. Have to think of some sort of fic that would be worth ya'lls time. If readers can't enjoy a story, then there's not much point in writing it. Thanks again!

RyRy tested; MaMa approved.


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